Highly Sensitive Person revelation

I’m not sure how this article got into my queue, but through it and several self-tests, I discovered that I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). I’ve seen HSP mentioned in mental health posts before, but I thought it was more of a personality trait or something developed from trauma (not the case), experience, or related skill-development. To my surprise, some believe it’s genetic (scientific validity is not confirmed, and it is not a diagnosis), and up to 30% of the population are HSPs.

This news is about three days old to me, so bear with me as I exude some enlightened discovery feelings.

Reading through another list, I found items that I had attributed to social/general anxiety or being an introvert, past barista/FOH staff, or child of immigrants. And of course, there’s an overlap of HSP with traits and diagnoses, plus various areas of sensitivity.

Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?

Do you like deep conversations?

Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?

Do other people tell you that you are good at understanding what they are feeling or thinking?

Do you tend to reflect on things deeply?

Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?

Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?

Do you have a rich and complex inner life?

When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?

This isn’t a complete list; however, I do hit the high end of the “extremely” scale for all but one of the above. 

• The first time I watched The Office, I could barely finish the pilot episode. It was so intensely awkward, and I was getting second-hand embarrassment from watching it. 
• I absolutely cannot get past the intro of Law & Order SVU or watch psychological thrillers.
• If I walk into a room where there was an argument, I know instantly just from the energy of it. 
• When my friend shared a clip of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra performing in Vegas, my first thoughts were not about the music, they were about the blinding amount of lasers and strobes. I didn’t know that a concert hall could have so many lasers in different colors, rhythms, constantly moving around and into your eyes. 
• A long time ago, the first time I wrote about racism and sexism in the coffee industry, it went viral within the industry, and I was wholly unprepared. There was a lot of criticism and disbelief that completely froze me in a four-month rumination cycle, until I could finally write the follow-up. 

HSP also explains why I need my surrounding environment to be calm and aesthetic. When I lived on the fifth floor of a 70s multi-unit apartment building (imagine carpeted pillars in the shared hallways), I looked up at a popcorn ceiling, down at a beige carpet, sideways at white plaster walls, and out the window to a gas station. Now I’m in a place bursting with color and plants, art on the walls, and a neighborhood that’s just as colorful.

I’m also a sympathy vomiter and crier and this kind emotional mirroring is exhausting. It’s why I can’t write two emotional article topics in a row. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), in the process of learning more about HSP, I also learned about the High Sensation Seeker (HSS) trait and that the two can co-exist in one person. Someone with HSS looks for new sensations, but in a controlled manner. The below was about a husband and wife who were both journalists.

The HSS husband was able to write his story about the catastrophe without too much distress, and was even glad he’d had this great career opportunity. The HSP/HSS wife could write nothing for days (although what she eventually wrote was deeply meaningful). She was too shocked, almost as if she’d been in the nightclub herself.

And this one made me laugh: 

About careers, I have noticed that HSP/HSSs seem to make the ideal interviewers. They are very curious and like meeting new people, at least in this structured environment, and they can use their sensitivity to get into the other person’s mind and ask the right question.

I did not go searching for all of this. However, knowing that I am both HSP and HSS explains a hell of a lot of things: I get antsy if holed up for too long by myself, and I LOVE to travel to new places, but also need a significant amount of days to recover from a trip. This duality kind of feeling is similar to when anxiety and depression are battling each other. 

If you read this far, or also had a similar light bulb moment, I’d love to chat with you. This shit has been wild.